the beginning of love

"the beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image.

otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them."

-thomas merton

clarify

"Clarify your purpose. What is the why behind everything you do? When we know this in life or design it is very empowering and the path becomes clear." -Jack Canfield 

"He loved us not because we are lovable, but because He is love."
(C.S. Lewis)

"Now then, stand still and see this great thing that the Lord is about to do before your eyes!" 
(1 Samuel 12:16)

Some days, life is CRAZY and some days, I have three different to-do lists to complete. Some days, it takes about 7 cups of coffee. That's how it needs to be if I'm ever going to change the world. Right?

Here's the thing: it is so insanely easy for me to get wrapped up in my own work and my efforts and my small corner of the world.

God is about to do great things before our very eyes. It's good and important to work towards our dreams and goals. But sometimes? Sometimes, we need to stand still and allow ourselves to be awestruck in the presence of our Savior and Redeemer. And while we're going about our crazy Mondays, remember to open your eyes to see and feel how Jesus is moving in the midst of all that caffeinated chaos. Because it is happening. And I don't want to miss it.

FEAR

Fear. Everyone's experienced it. Even those who appear to be constantly strong and brave. Fear begins as a thought. Something you were previously so excited about takes on a different tone and all of a sudden, you begin to doubt your capabilities. What if. Those two words begin to rise up and clench their fists on the steering wheel of your mind. What if I fail? What if I get hurt? What if? The fear that started out as a twinge begins to turn into a swirling inferno, a fire that consumes every shred of hope that stands in its way. There's an ache in the pit of your stomach. You feel as though you are frozen in time. Paralyzed. And you have no idea what to do about these voices in your head that continually dictate what you can and cannot do. So, you give in and give up. You stop taking on challenges. You stop saying yes and start saying I don't think so. Saddest of all, you stop growing.

Fear. Over time, it turns into a dull throbbing sensation in your heart. Sometimes you forget it's there because of how quiet it is. But it's always there. Eating away at your confidence. Telling you that you can't. That you never will.

But those voices in your head? They don't know you. They don't own you.

And one day? One day, you'll realize that you have imposed these limitations on yourself. One day, you'll tell the voices to simmer down and you will relight the fire in your heart that knows exactly how special and capable you are. On that day, you'll realize that failure is a part of living and that it's not as bad as you once thought. You'll be able to walk with your head up and your spirits raised. You have a powerful God. He's on your side and he won't let your feet slip. You have a passion that He gave you and a specific set of skills to fulfill your dreams. So go for it, darling. Don't hold back EVER. You CAN do it. And it will be marvelous.

I give myself permission to fail. I have permission to look stupid and mess up and make mistakes. I have nothing to fear. 

Darkness Is Losing (Jefferson Bethke)

FLAWLESS

Wake up:

Flawless.

That's what we value.

In a Beyonce world, all we hear is:

perfect perfect perfect. Pretty. Beautiful. 

That's why I struggled with my image for three straight years

and still do.

We strive for perfection and always come up short because there is always a new standard.

So we work harder?

Realize this, love.

Perfection is not as beautiful as acceptance.

What's beautiful is someone who has realized their imperfections yet

still loves themselves and, even better, is deeply loved by their Creator.

Because it means that they are free.

Freedom is greater than flawlessness.

We are free to admit our mistakes, reveal our scars, and bare our souls to the world. 

It is because of Love that we are made beautiful. 

fire

you were raised with a fire in your chest

you were created for passion and conviction

you have a mind that is powerful and vast

your soul is immeasurable by any human standards.

how will you use your precious life?

(raw)

In my experience, the best kind of prayer is the kind where walls are let down and tears flow. What you say doesn't have to sound pretty or make sense or even be audible at all. There is an intense feeling of freedom that comes when you accept this truth: God knows the heart. Don't be afraid to pray when you're angry, when you're confused, and when you're hurt. People don't always want to see our true colors, but I believe that God gets really excited when we pray with honesty and openness and pour out our souls in His presence without sugar-coating the way we feel. Free your heart and allow yourself to be flooded in grace by our Savior. This is prayer as it's meant to be.

OVERWHELM

breathing gets harder

days get rougher

list gets longer

you want to start over.

Take a breath, take a break

unleash the fears.

Talk to someone, go outside

(trust me, it helps)

sit still for a while with your eyes closed

(even though you don't think you have time)

ask God for strength and peace and courage

(trust me, He listens)

re-evaluate priorities and try to stay calm.

Start over.

It's ok if you mess up

(trust me, everyone does)

Courage

"you can't get to courage without walking through vulnerability." -brene brown

Who He Is

Jesus is the answer to all the questions that swim around in your mind and keep you awake until 3 a.m.
Jesus is the remedy for the sharp pain that sometimes stabs your heart in the middle of the day and breaks you down.
Jesus is the escape from all the weight of the world that you carry on your inadequate shoulders.
He is the creator of joy, the author of life, the imagination behind all things good, true, beautiful, and meaningful.
And He loves you. You are what He thinks about, feels pain for, and rejoices over.

You are the one He wants.

if that isn't life-changing, then nothing is.

"The Lord will fight for you. You need only be still."
Exodus 14:14

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU WEREN'T AFRAID? 

in my world

my world is

broken. Shattered.

In my world,

countless women are oppressed and abused.

In my world,

children are starving while parents feel helpless.

In my world,

human beings are used to support the greed of other human beings.

In my world,

people are consistently torn down by words.

In my world,

there is death. Pain. Evil. Hatred.

BUT IN MY WORLD THERE IS JESUS.

He is MOVING and SAVING.

And with my Jesus,

there is hope. Love. Forgiveness. peace.

When you are used, abused, broken, and helpless

Reach for Jesus.

When you feel like no one loves you and no one ever could

Reach for Jesus.

He's here. 

Rejoice

"Though the fig tree does not bud, 
and there are no grapes on the vines,
 though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stall,
yet I will REJOICE in the Lord,
I will be joyful in God my Savior."

This verse hit me hard the other day. This past year or so has been a gigantic whirlwind of amazingness and exciting things. But it's also been a whirlwind of stress on my part. Stress about whether I'm making the right decisions, stress about my future, stress about relationships in my life. Basically, it terrifies me to not have everything figured out.

In the book bearing his name, Habakkuk cries out to God, asking Him when all this confusion and chaos will end. And at the end of the book, Habakkuk the prophet makes a decision. He chooses to rejoice in the Lord, even in the midst of turmoil.

"Though I don't have my major or college figured out, and I constantly doubt my choices, though I don't know where to start on my dreams, or where to go and what to do, though I don't really know what I'm doing, I choose you, Jesus. I will praise you what You've done in me, and I will put all my hope in You."

We have a good God. We are not putting our faith in something that can't see or hear us, or doesn't care. He wants what is best for us and He gives direction in every moment. The future will work itself out. While I'm waiting, I will be joyful in God my Savior.